In this season of ‘love’ with Valentine’s Day having just gone by, the receiving and showing of love has gotten played out in a million ways. Some people really got into it with the chocolates, card, gifts, champagne, dinner, the works, while others, (you know who you are) de-romanticized it completely by sending a few characters via text to their special someone. While still others did nothing at all. For many years, I fell squarely in this latter group and totally resisted a day in which you were supposed to show your love to the special person/people in your life. What happened to spontaneity in which you could declare your love on March 20th or June 8th, or Nov 2nd? I was on a personal vendetta against Valentine’s Day and avoided anything remotely resembling a heart-shaped box of chocolates like it was the plague!

Marriage, motherhood and a tad bit of maturity helped me to soften my stance on my little mini-revolt. While I loved the idea of expressing your love, I still didn’t like that it was supposed to be confined to one day in February. Much like the picture above which shows opposite parts of our being (heart=feelings and brain=thinking), I felt a dichotomy of emotions.

Likewise, many preemie and special needs parents can often feel a dichotomy of emotions that, like the picture above also shows, somehow go hand-in-hand. Like a pendulum, our feelings can frequently swing wildly between the ‘loving but not liking‘ array of emotions.

a) We love our children but do not like the constant stresses of our situation

b) We love and celebrate our children’s strength but do not like the often daily medical, physical and emotional challenges they face because of their special need(s)

c) We love our children’s specialists/doctors/therapists and all they do for our kids but do not like the fact that we even have to have them as constant fixtures in our lives

d) We love our family, but do not like their non-understanding and sometimes minimalization of our daily challenges

e) We love our friends who have typically developing kids but do not like that they sometimes just don’t ‘get it’, especially during play dates and other social events with our kids. There is often a feeling of disconnect/separateness.

f) We may even love our children’s teacher/school but do not like that we have to constantly fight to ensure that our child’s basic educational needs are met.

I’m sure you can include many more ‘loving but not liking’ scenarios that are a part of your own life. As you do, it’s important to not feel guilty about it. I know it’s so easy to do and to somehow think that having these emotions (and actually admitting that you do) is bad and makes you a bad parent. On the contrary, it actually makes you a good one, and a pretty good one at that.

Why? The answer is: honesty. You’re being honest with and about yourself and your situation. This can free you up on so many levels and give you the space, ability (and perhaps permission) to be both strong and vulnerable not only as a parent but also as a person.

Maybe, just maybe this could be one of the greatest expressions of love you can give yourself and your child during this Valentine’s Day season and beyond.

If this resonated with you in any way, please leave your comments/thoughts/suggestions on this topic and/or about anything else you want to share, in the ‘Speak Your Mind’ comment box below. I would love to hear what’s on your mind. As always, you can also feel free to drop me a line at: gigi@familiesblossoming.com at any time.

Warmly,

2013 – A brand spanking New Year is here. Many people were cheering, shouting, blowing those little honky horns, kissing and hugging strangers and familiar faces alike, wearing silly hats and drinking champagne (or whatever they could get their hands on) as they counted down the seconds to the ushering in of the start of another 365 days.

For a lot of people, this is cause for celebration. They have the opportunity to start afresh, to wipe the slate clean of any mistakes or disappointments of 2012 and go full speed ahead into a sea of possibilities….but for many preemie and special needs parents, the New Year is anything but new. Like the picture above shows, the year of 2012 (more like the stresses of it) are not entirely gone with arrival of 2013.

Their children may still be in the NICU and/or having to endure more surgeries and re-hospitalizations. Some are coping with having a ‘gang’, oops sorry I meant to say ‘team’ of therapists and medical professionals traipsing in and out of their home (unless they themselves are doing the traipsing in and out of treatment centers). Many of these parents are gearing up for the continued battle with their child’s school over the IEP requirements and implementation for their child within the school environment. Still others are nursing a serious headache after trying to reason with their insurance company over what surgeries, therapies or equipment are covered. Yet another segment is trying to explain for the umpteenth time to their friends and family members about their child’s condition. Shouldn’t they know by now? The list of scenarios experienced by these special parents is endless and varied….

Nearly all preemie and special needs parents question whether they are doing all that they can/should be doing for their child and whether or not they are being a good parent? I suppose that this self-doubt is common for all parents, but can feel extra heavy for preemie and special needs parents. I’ve said this before but it’s worth saying again. I feel that much of the self-doubt for preemie and special needs parents is largely due to the fact that from day 1, someone (whether doctor, nurse, teacher, therapist, etc) has been telling you what you should be doing for your child and how you should be doing it. As a result, your natural paternal instincts can become a bit dull from this external ‘pseudo-parent overload’.  In addition, I, for one, have felt and still feel sometimes, like my life as a preemie/special needs parent is a never-ending saga of being in a state of readiness….for the next challenge, obstacle, diagnosis, assessment results, disappointment or opportunity. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m being ready for. I  just know that I have to be.

How can I look forward to the New Year when I feel like I’m still carrying and dealing with the challenges of the Old? There are a ton of ways, but I’ll keep it simple and focus on three (3) of them that are at the forefront of my mind right now. They are:

1) Acknowledge the weight of your challenges – Many of us don’t want to admit how hard this kind of parenting is for fear of sounding like we don’t love our children and/or consider them a burden. That is the farthest from the truth as the vast majority of preemie/special needs parents deeply love their children. What I’m speaking about here is the  acknowledgment that there are definite layers of extra ‘stuff’ that preemie and special needs parents have to consider/think about every day that never have to cross the mind of the parent of a typically developing child.

Things such as: how to care for your child’s feeding tube or their oxygen apparatus, helping your child manage all of the everyday sensory stimuli (lights, gentle touch, water running, etc) that can easily impair their daily function, having mobility concerns with your child who has cerebral palsy, feeling nervous about yet another surgery or resuscitation attempt for your child in the NICU, trying to find a group of kids (and parents) who would accept your child in a social/playgroup setting and not think their different ability (not disability) as being odd, having to explain to family and friends why they can’t visit you during this winter (i.e. RSV) season because your and your preemie baby are on lock-down at home post-NICU, how to help your nonverbal child to communicate and let his/her needs be known in another way and the list goes on and on.

2) Seek out and accept help – of any kind. This is a hard one for me to swallow as I am definitely more of a giver than a receiver of any type of support. So, I’m saying to myself and to you: Don’t try to be supermom or superdad. It’s exhausting and can wear you out. You’re human – get reprieve any way you can, accept a meal being prepared, use that listening ear and shoulder that was offered, take that afternoon off that your boss suggested, accept that ride to your child’s next appointment, take that $25 your friend slipped in your hand, etc, etc. Help means “to make [something] , more pleasant or bearable [or easier]. This New Year allow yourself to have an easier journey

3) Self-Appreciate - It’s a whole lot easier for us a parents, and as people in general, to focus on and remember the things we feel like we didn’t do right last year. This is wasted energy because what’s done is done but it’s also draining because you’re focusing on things that by nature bring you down. So, how about a little self-appreciation this year, and try spending a little time thinking on the things you’re doing right or feel good about as a parent? No matter how small. Jot them down daily or weekly and put them in a place where you will see them. They will serve as a reminder  to yourself of how great you really are.  When you appreciate what you’ve written and in turn, appreciate yourself.

Happy, Happy New Year to all preemie and special needs parents. I wish you the best and brightest that 2013 has to offer and am honored to be counted among such a strong yet often-forgotten group of warriors who daily parent special kids in extraordinary ways.

Warmly,

P – Pause:  To slow down or stop for a moment

R – Reflect: Consider/Think About who and where you are as a person. Do you like what you see or like the picture above shows, do you even know who that person is staring back at you?

E – Empty: Get rid of any heavy, unhelpful internal or external baggage

S – Savor: Oooo, savor how light you feel after all of that emptying

E – Embrace: Welcome the positive change(s) in yourself

N – No: Learn to say this word as it can set and protect your boundaries

C – Celebrate: You, your children, your spouse/partner, your life – just because!

E – Enjoy: Consciously enjoy (i.e. take pleasure in) every moment of each day

In a nutshell, presence means to ‘be/live in the moment,’ and not let let anything meaningful and dare I say, fun, pass you by. I know that it is hard for parents, in general, to take the time to focus on ourselves and is doubly hard for us parents of preemies, sick and/or special needs children. Despite this, I really encourage you to try to focus on being ‘present’ over the next few days and weeks. Jot down what it feels like, what you learn and share with me either via email or message me on Facebook. One added bonus of allowing yourself this gift is that once you start being ‘present’ with yourself, you start being ‘present’, (i.e. in the moment)  with others.

This month, I’m starting a new thing called: ‘Parent Support Highlights’,  in which each month, I will highlight person(s) and/or organizations that are doing something fantastic to support preemie and/or special needs parents and families. I want your feedback on the people I highlight as well as your thoughts or suggestions for any particular topic or area of concern that you want highlighted or discussed. You can post your comments in the comment section below or just simply drop me an email at: gigi@familiesblossoming.com.

During these holiday months of December/January, I am excited about introducing an amazing lady to you named Jodi, a Registered Nurse for  the past 17 years as well as a NICU Nurse.

Jodi is the Founder of Peek-a-boo ICU, www.peekabooicu.net, a popular blog created to provide support to parents as they face the emotional journey of the NICU – all from the perspective of a NICU nurse. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Jodi a couple of months ago and I can honestly say that she is one of the most caring, compassionate and humble people I’ve ever met. Check out Jodi’s picture and logo below:

Jodi offers two distinct ways of supporting preemie parents, via: 1) her Peek-a-Boo ICU Facebook page, www.facebook.com/peekabooicuRN?fref=ts, and 2) her Journey Beads and Bracelets Collection.

The Facebook page is a “community that offers support and allows other similar individuals to “be there” for each other along the way–through the rough and tough times and also to rejoice and cheer each other on in the happy moments”.

Jodi says: “The NICU is never in anyone’s birth plan. Parents are thrown into a world they don’t know and never expected, drenched in fear of the unknown. All too often they are given information they don’t understand and are faced with a future that is so uncertain. They don’t know what to ask, how to act, and often feel overwhelmed to say that they’ve lost their way”.

So if you are still wondering what to get for that special preemie parent you know (even if it is yourself), consider buying the journey beads to tell your story or the story of your loved one. It’s beautiful jewelry anyway, so no one will even need to know that you are telling  your very unique story every time you wear it. To see more of Jodi’s Preemie jewelry, click: www.peekabooicu.net

In an instant you were gone. Before I could see your face, stroke your cheeks, give you butterfly kisses, put bandages on that boo-boo on your knee, smell that sweet scent that only babies have, be your earthly mummy, say hello…… before I could do any of those things, I had to say goodbye.

I’ve lost four (4) babies before I had a chance to meet them. Their names are all the same – Angelito – which means little angel. Their lives, no matter how brief, made a great imprint on my heart, and their loss had and continues to have a profound impact on my life. I’ve said that losing them felt like having an unseen loss, meaning that their entire existence was such a mixture of the tangible and intangible, that I wasn’t even sure about the whats/ifs/shoulds of my grief. Could I grieve what I never had? Could I grieve the unknown? Was I even allowed to?

The Aloha image above is a poignant symbol of the lives/losses of my babies. Aloha is a Hawaiian greeting used simultaneously to say hello and goodbye and in the image, the waves appear to be etching closer, ready to wipe away that greeting. Likewise, my whispered greeting to my babies echoed the Aloha meaning and their passing felt like that cool, swaying wave that seemed ever ready and willing to wipe away every trace of my babies’ (as well as part of my) existence.

That wave wasn’t entirely successful though, because precious traces of their existence are still very evident, if only in the minds and hearts of my husband and I. Yes, my babies were known, they were here, we saw the positive pregnancy tests, the doctor even confirmed it, we saw their little heart beats on the sonogram, once or twice I thought I even felt the flutter of their existence in my womb. My Angelitos, why oh why is the doctor now telling me that you are no longer here, that he can no longer find your heartbeats? Maybe his sonogram equipment is broken, yes, that must be it because you can’t possibly be gone. Not now, not this quickly. I’d just told everyone that you were coming. They were expecting you….I was expecting you.

And so began my very surreal, confusing and emotional journey into pregnancy and infant loss. In many ways the brevity of my babies’ lives made my grief even harder. The space and time between their existence and non-existence was so sudden, that it almost felt like a cruel joke. Your mind plays tricks on you, you feel your body has failed you and very few on the outside understand you. In fact, the sheer amount of incorrect assumptions (“What did you do to cause it?”) and insane comments (“Well, at least you didn’t get to see him/her – now that would have really been sad”) that come your way when you lose a pregnancy is mind-boggling. I shudder thinking about it even now. Losing a pregnancy is an experience that no woman should ever have to go through one time, let alone four times or even seven, eight or ten times, as is the case with some women.

Medically my babies were called ‘miscarriages or spontaneous abortions’ and are common, apparently happening in up to 40% of known pregnancies, normally within the 1st 12 weeks (1st trimester). Two of my miscarriages fell in this category and two did not and were classified as ’2nd trimester miscarriages.’ According to my doctor, although losing a pregnancy in the 2nd trimester is not as common and he wasn’t exactly sure why it happened (all tests came back normal or inclusive), he still felt that it was probably “for the best”. The best for who? Him, me, my babies, the universe? Note to self: 1) Change doctors and 2) Buy aforementioned doctor the not-yet-written book entitled, ’10 Things You Never Say To a Woman Experiencing Pregnancy/Infant Loss.’ I’m sure ‘it’s for the best’ is right up there alongside, ‘you’re young(ish) so you will have another one.’

In the midst of all of the intangibility of my pregnancy loss experiences, something began to become planted in me that was very beautiful and had the potential to be very tangible, if I allowed it to grow. A gift from my babies perhaps? I’m not sure – but their short lives gave me a deeper capacity to love, a stronger reliance on my faith, an ability to not take things (or people) for granted or too seriously, the belief that life is truly precious, the desire to seek out and surround myself with people who lifted me up instead of tore me down, a reminder to slow down and pause, the freedom to be honest in my grief and the permission to laugh again.

It wasn’t and isn’t easy and my loss is never erased from my being, but somewhere along the way, something started to be woven into my heart. A feeling that things will get (and feel) better. A sense of hope where it was once lost – a hope that oddly felt/feels very real and….very, very tangible.

October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. If you know of any woman (and/or a couple) who has/have experienced a loss, give ‘em a hug, acknowledge their loss and let them know that you are there for them whenever, whatever and however they may need you.

I’m sure that many of you have your own poignant stories of pregnancy and infant loss – or know someone who does. I would love for you to share your story/experience with pregnancy and infant loss with us, so please feel free to leave your thoughts about this this or any other topic in the comment section below. If you don’t want to tell your story publicly but still feel the need to share, please do not hesitate to send me an email at: gigi@familiesblossoming.com. I very much look forward to hearing from you.

Warmly,

Sometimes (when I feel like it), I stop and try to patiently answer their questions. “Yes, he’s blind, he rides by listening to what’s around him and I give him cues, he doesn’t need to ‘see’ with his eyes to know where he’s going, Yes, it’s safe.” Sometimes though (more often than not), I don’t say a word – but just keep running alongside my munchkin as he slowly and steadily pedals his bike. The grins on both of our faces silence the critics and gawkers and, in my opinion, is THE answer to any more of their lingering questions.

This physical and non-verbal response of mine is a relatively new one. Previously, when others doubted Alejandro’s abilities, I hate to admit it but I did too. Does this ring true for you too?

I didn’t doubt things all of the time nor did I do it immediately, but rather often later on,  when I would find myself lying wide awake in bed mulling over a comment, observation or prognosis that someone had said. ‘There must be some validity to it or they wouldn’t have mentioned it, right?’ I thought. This would go on for days despite me witnessing Alejandro constantly defying what had been said about him. Thankfully a ton of bricks hit me and knocked some sense into my head and made me realize what I was doing: underestimating my son and his abilities based off of someone else’s overestimation of their own opinions about him. Crazy!

And besides, to estimate is simply to guess, based off of incomplete information. For eg.: It’s extremely difficult to accurately guess how many pieces of candy would be inside of a full candy jar because much of the candy can’t be seen from the outside of the jar. Likewise, much of what others think about our children (and us as parents) is often based on what they ‘think’ they are seeing from the outside coupled with their own assumptions. In other words, an incomplete picture.

‘Why do we automatically assume less of (i.e. underestimate) others who are different or differently-abled?’ and ‘ Why do we look at them from a deficit point of view focusing on what (we think) they don’t have, can’t do, instead of a surplus one – what they DO have and CAN do!?’ My answer: because it’s easy. It’s takes far more work, time and energy to think about and get to know someone who is different/differently abled than it does to make an instant judgement/assessment/estimation about them.

Don’t take the easy route. Believe in & celebrate your child’s strengths and capabilities, no matter how small they may seem to others (& dare I say you as their parent).

Many children like Alejandro, who are former micro-preemies and/or who have special needs, are quite capable of achieving greatness in a myriad of ways. Their way of doing things might not be your way….but it is still a way and this should never be minimized or ignored.

So as another school year gets under way for many of our kids this year – and even those of you whose kids aren’t in school, I encourage you to never underestimate your child and his/her abilities, regardless of what others may say. Also, never underestimate yourself and your own unique ability as a parent to look at, listen to and really know your child…..as well as yourself.

I would love to know your thoughts regarding this newsletter or just about anything else that’s on your heart. Feel free to share them by dropping me a line in the ‘Comments’ section below or by emailing me @: gigi@familiesblossoming.com.

MARK YOUR CALENDARS:

1) (Only 3 weeks away)! Annual Preemie Parent Summit; Building Relationships, Creating A Strong Community; September 20-21, 2012; Pricewaterhouse Coopers, One North Wacker, Chicago, IL

Sponsored by Preemie Parent Alliance (PPA): http://preemieparentalliance.wildapricot.org/, this event aims to  bring preemie parent leaders together to support and network with one another and to actively engage in a spirit of openness so that effective joint-partnerships are created.

I am super excited to be co-facilitating the summit with PPA! It promises to be a great time, so if you or someone you know is part of a preemie parent organization/group (in person or virtual), please join us!

2) 5th Annual Rainbow of Roses Rememberance  (Georgia)

A special event in recognition of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. To find out more out more, click on the link below:

http://zoerose.givezooks.com/events/5th-annual-rainbow-of-roses-remembrance

3) Neonatal Nurses Day (sponsored by NANN, the National Association of Neonatal Nurses: NANN) on September 15th! 

A day to recognize all of the amazing NICU nurses out there. If you’ve had a nurse who made your journey in the NICU a little bit better, smoother – let her know on this special day. Click on the link below to find out more about it and ways in which you can acknowledge your child’s special nurse:

http://www.nann.org/about/content/nnd.html

You can also like the NICU Nurses Day on Facebook and send them a BIG thank you: bit.ly/NICUNursesDay

4) A Petition about Preemies and RSV (Urgent Action Requested!) . Please sign and pass it on!If your preemie had RSV and received Synagis, then you might want to consider taking part in this petition. For more information, click on the link: ow.ly/dfJL5

Until Next Time, Wishing You Hope and Clarity,

The caption above is possibly one way in which you can gain some parental independence in an oh-so-modest way!:-). Although I have a hunch that a couple of other ways just may be a tad more successful.

Re-claiming your independence as a special parent involves you doing one (1) or both of the following two (2) things:

1) Listening To (And Trusting) Your Gut

You know those times when something happens or someone says something that makes you think ‘hmmmm’ or ‘ugh’ and/or just makes you feel a bit off? Well, that’s your gut (a.k.a. internal wisdom) talking to you. Listen.

As preemie and special needs parents, oftentimes our instinctive (and almost always accurate) ability to make sense out of our own world/reality becomes lessened because of, as previously-mentioned the ‘pseudo-parents’ as well as other things begin taking over our thoughts and actions.

Tune out this outer ‘noise’ by making a ‘Personal Gut Wisdom Sheet‘.  I want you to pause….and really listen to yourself. Then jot down on a piece of paper what ‘your gut – that instinctive inner wisdom’  is telling you. Keep your wisdom sheet in a place where you can readily see and access it when needed, as a reminder to trust yourself both as a parent and a person.

2) Recognizing That You Have A Voice (And Using It)

Sometimes our voices as parents are silenced. Not because we don’t speak – we do – but because we tend to speak other people’s words, thoughts and opinions, sometimes unknowingly. We spout off to others what the therapist says about our child, even though we don’t agree. The words of the doctor keep playing in our heads even though in our heart of hearts, we don’t feel like he’s ever really listened to what we’ve said. The social worker’s plan for our child seems at odds with what we feel is best for our family, yet we agree to it anyway. Our voices become theirs and not our own.

I encourage you to – find your own.

This may mean that you have to go against the status-quo and potentially make some waves, but for the sake of your children (and yourself), it’s ok to cause a few ripples. Use your voice, not antagonistically, but with clarity and confidence in stating what you want (and don’t want) for your child.

Someone will hear you….including maybe even yourself- and by hearing your own voice, your confidence and independence as a parent will be nurtured and grow.

I guarantee it!

So, if anything I’ve said has resonated with you, I hope it starts to put you on the path towards reclaiming or at least starting to think about ways in which you can reclaim your parental independence again.

There are a multitude of additional ways in which you can become more independent and I’m sure many of you have a host of other ideas, thoughts, etc. If so, please feel  to share them by dropping me a line at: gigi@familiesblossoming.com or you can also share your thoughts in the comment section below.

I would love to hear from you regarding your thoughts about this particular newsletter as well as anything else that’s on your mind and heart.

FORTHCOMING EVENTS:

1) Annual Preemie Parent Summit; Building Relationships, Creating A Strong Community; September 20-21, 2012

Renaissance Schaumburg Convention Center & Hotel Schaumburg, Illinois

I am pleased to share with you about this event sponsored by Preemie Parent Alliance (PPA):http://preemieparentalliance.wildapricot.org/

This summit aims to bring preemie parent leaders together to support and network with one another and to actively engage in a spirit of openness so that effective joint-partnerships are created.

Plus a special bonus treat?: Yours Truly will be co-facilitating the summit with PPA! I am excited, humbled and honored. It promises to be a great time, so if you or someone you know is part of a preemie parent organization/group (in person or virtual), please join us!

2) National Association for Parents of Children with Visual Impairments (NAPVI), 2012 Families Connecting wth Families Conference. (July 27-29 in Boston, Massachusetts).

Click on link to find out more: http://www.familyconnect.org/parentsitehome.asp?SectionID=110

3) 5th Annual Rainbow of Roses Rememberance  (Georgia)

A special event in recognition of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. To find out more out more, click on the link below:

http://zoerose.givezooks.com/events/5th-annual-rainbow-of-roses-remembrance

RESOURCES:

1) Treatment Options for ADHD in Children and Teens – Information for Parents and Caregivers: http://ow.ly/bTNCf

2)  Disability.gov – a great resource for parents of preemies throughout the lifespan – http://ow.ly/bEu23

Until Next Time, Wishing You Hope and Clarity,

The Little Drummer Boy (this version in particular) was Alejandro’s favorite song this Christmas and holiday season. Well this song and the one that, in his words: “says my name.” Translation: Alejandro by Lady Gaga. I’m 100% certain that The Little Drummer Boy and Lady Gaga don’t exactly fit well together but hey in the world of a 5 year old – anything is possible!

Whether you celebrated this holiday season with a Nativity Scene, a Christmas tree, Santa Claus, lighting a Menorah, celebrating the seven (7) principles of Kwanzaa, gift-giving, fireworks or simply feasting and laughing with family and friends, for many of us, this time of year was/is a special one. In the song, ‘The Little Drummer Boy’, we catch a glimpse of something that we can so easily miss during this frantic season of giving and receiving gifts and resolution making and breaking, and that is the opportunity to  - give what we have, no more, no less.

The little drummer boy felt inadequate at first, thinking that he didn’t have anything good enough to give but when he realized the one thing that he could give – the playing of his drums –  he quickly stepped up to the plate.

We too can feel like the little drummer boy at times - often thinking that we don’t have anything or enough of anything to give to our children, our spouses, our work, our extended family, our friends and most importantly, ourselves.

This year, let’s aim to flip this thought on its head and focus on the things that we do have to give, while considering these two (2) underlying principles as our guide:

1) Give only what you have to give, not all that you have! - While discussing different ways towards financial stability many years ago, one of my brother-in-laws, Reggie, shared with me a wonderful wisdom nugget that I have never forgotten. He said (and I’m paraphrasing): ‘If someone asks you for $500.00 and all you have is $500.00, you simply say: I don’t have $500.00 to give. You are not lying because you didn’t say that you didn’t have the $500.00, just that you didn’t have it to give!  You may have $50 or $100 to give but not the full amount, and this is perfectly ok.” This always stuck with me and I often think about it now with my parents that I coach. So many of them have completely stretched themselves as thin as a pancake trying to give everything that they have! -  to everyone else, when they know deep down inside that they really can’t and shouldn’t do it because it will only drain them on many levels. This can, and almost often does, also apply to ‘emotional giving.’

2) Saying No = Saying Yes –  Simply put, when you start saying no to others, you start saying yes to yourself!

So, as we enter into a New Year – one that I hope for you is filled with a lot more blessings and promises than challenges and heartache. As we focus on ‘giving only what we have’ in 2012, let us also remember that less is oftentimes more in several instances. You can share less time with someone but experience a richer degree of quality within that time.  You owe it to yourself (and to your family) to make 2012 a year filled with lots of giving of what you have – no more, no less.

Speaking of giving, there are two (2) ongoing gifts that I’m offering you via the links on the right-hand sidebar:

1) My recently published (yay) kindle electronic book, Differently Abled and Still Able! I co-authored it with Marianne DiBlasi, a coach herself as well as an adult living with a disability. In a conversational style we aim to turn how we view, feel  and relate to our children’s disability/special need into a much more empowered and postive one. Click on the link to the right to learn more and to buy!

2) As part of my promotion of the new kindle book, I am also offering a 10% discount off of my popular ‘Power Blossoming Coaching Package!’ Done over a one (1) month period, its aim is to help you as parents ‘jumpstart’ real and positive change in their lives in a very focused and dynamic way! Don’t miss out, click on the link to the right to get started today!

As always, I want to know your thoughts so please take a moment to leave a comment at the end of this newsletter or drop me an email at: gigi@familiesblossoming.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

Warmly,

Born out of two shared hearts, minds and similarly-felt experiences (and created via a big push from my webmaster extraordinaire Diane), this Kindle book was developed by Marianne and I based off of our successful Disability or Different Abilities 2-part Teleseminar held earlier this year.

After creating and co-presenting the Teleseminar, we received lots of feedback that helped Marianne and I realize that what we were sharing touched a nerve, in a good way, and was extremely valuable to share in a more tangible and accessible manner.

Empowered Parenting for Children with Special Needs

Our key message was and is simple – that parents (and their children with special needs) can be empowered.

Given so much of the ‘assumed disempowerment’ that is associated with children who have special needs, we wanted to challenge this notion and completely turn it on its head, stick our tongues out at it and say ‘so there’!

More importantly, we wanted to give parents the tools they needed in order to start developing and maintaining a more positive and empowering relationship with ‘the world of special needs’, their child and themselves.

We do this by sharing ourselves and our own different yet complimentary life experiences of being a parent of a child with special needs and an adult born with a disability.

Coupled with our shared wisdom as professional coaches, Marianne and I support parents in helping them to find their voices again.

We are excited to share our new kindle book with you and hope you enjoy and gain from its message just as much as we did while writing it!

Buy Direct from Amazon

“Differently Abled and Still Able – Empowered Parenting for Children with Special Needs” Kindle Edition is now available on Amazon and can be read on your computer, kindle, ereader, iphone or ipad.

Your Feedback

After reading the book, Marianne and I would love to know how it has helped you, add your feedback either below in the comments section, or contact me directly here.

Date night!

All of the relationship gurus say that couples with kids should have one or several date nights!

Our 7th wedding anniversary is coming up this weekend and my husband and I are following their advice and are going on a date!

Woo-hoo!!

During the day – huh?

Does this still count relationship people??

In my book it does – and even if it didn’t, we’re going anyway.

We came up with this idea earlier this year largely because we (or more accurately I) don’t trust leaving Alejandro with a babysitter. He’s only had one (1) since we moved to NYC 3 years ago and she worked at his preschool, so she knew him and he knew her.

I’m getting really excited about it because it will be uninterrupted couple time.

We can walk in the park, have lunch, maybe catch a movie, who knows….but what I do know is that we will be child-free for a few hours. Yay!

Wow, did I just say that?

I know I’ve grown a lot with this parenting thing because I can now say that without guilt! Being child-free for a while and focusing on your primary relationship is not bad at all – actually it’s just the opposite.

I know that feeling guilty is often a huge weight that us parents of children with special needs carry around but I’m advocating that we lighten our load a little bit.

Have a date day or night or even a date moment, if you can.

Any time spent on connecting or reconnecting as a couple will have huge benefits for your child.

My very unscientific positive domino-effect formula is this: happy individuals = happy couples = happy parents = happy kids!

So, if you haven’t had a date day (or night) with your significant other in a while, start planning it!

It’s a win-win situation and you’ll be so glad that you did.