That’s my new personal motto and one that I’m hoping you will take on as well.
Almost all parents feel some type of guilt on some level at varying points along their parenting journeys.
- “Did I do or say the right thing?”
- “Am I doing the best for my child?”
- “Is my child happy?”
and the list goes on and on.
For those of us who are parents of children born early and/or who have special needs, this feeling can be amplified several degrees and potentially be never-ending.
Part of this is because the autonomy of our parenting role has either been taken away or significantly reduced and/or complicated.
What I mean by this is that making independent decisions regarding our children and their overall well-being is now done in conjunction with a host of other professionals (i.e. doctors, social workers, therapists, nurses, special education personnel, etc) who rapidly become involved in the care of our children.
Although necessary and beneficial, in many cases this expansive team of ‘pseudo’ parents, who advise us on everything from how to nurse our premature child to how to communicate with our child who has autism and everything else in between, can actually silently chip away at our confidence as parents.
How? Because we start listening so much to the external experts that we fail to listen to the internal instinctive expertise of own selves. The things we know as parents get drowned out by our emphasis on and worry about the things we don’t know or understand.
Cancel Your Fretting Club Membership!
If you are an active member of the ‘Fretting Club’, cancel your membership this instant.
There is a way to parent and feel good about your parenting skills – and it only requires you to embrace one concept which is:
You only know what you know when you know it.
That’s it, plain and simple.
By this, I mean that you can only respond to situations and/or make decisions based off of the available information you have in that moment. Not what you learn later or what you think you should have known beforehand.
I encourage and challenge you to be content in the knowledge you have in this very moment.
- Believe that you know enough about yourself, your child and your situation to successfully, beautifully and in some cases, creatively get through the next second, the next hour, and the rest of today.
- Be confident that you are making and will continue to make the best decisions that are right for you and your child always.