Don’t you feel like this picture sometimes? Don’t know if you are coming or going or whether you’ve already gone and haven’t quite made it back yet? Feeling like you’re running around like a headless chicken, or a dog chasing his tail or a worker bee who has a really hungry queen bee? Or like you are a horribly bad juggler ~ always dropping the ball with something or someone? About a year ago, I saw and purchased a large mug when I was having a particularly stressful and low day. It read “Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?” I just have one earthly child, but sometimes he feels like 5 kiddos all rolled up in one! I still smile when I drink from it…..and still try to answer the question blazoned across it!
We ALL have those kind of days. When everything seems to come crashing down before we’ve had a chance to prepare for it. Especially this time of the year when school has come/is coming to an end for many of our kids. Sometimes you may feel like you just can’t shake this feeling ‘ugh’ no matter what (Caution: in this case, you may need to consider seeking professional help as you may be suffering from PTSD or clinical depression). Most times though, it’s just a case of too many things happening at once, with too little time to make them happen efficiently and you’re caught up in the middle of it all ~ looking a bit stunned.
What do you do? My advice may not be orthodox but it works (most times at least). I say:
“Have a temper tantrum and allow yourself to break down when everything else is breaking or already broken around you.”
What? That’s right ~ who says temper tantrums only have to be for toddlers? Most pediatricians will tell you that it’s a pretty normal behavior for kids, especially when something is blocking/hindering them from doing what they want to do or assert their independence. It’s usually because they don’t have the words or coping skills to deal with this blockage so they just let loose.
Don’t we as special parents sometimes feel like we don’t have words to express how we’re feeling ~ or at times, just feel at a lost with knowing how to cope with our situation? Why can’t we scream, shout, cry, wail? (Note: not hurting anyone else or scaring your kids). The point is that sometimes we just have to let our emotions out, even if they are raw.
This rawness though is often where your truth lies….
There are some parameters to our breaking down (having a tantrum) as adults though, just like there are in children:
a) They are short-lived ~ no more than 30 seconds to 2 minutes. If you find that yours are lasting longer than that and/or turning violent, seek professional help.
b) They usually have a trigger ~ Find out what your trigger is? Is is at school, at home, when a particular things happens or is said?
c) Can be more intense when fatigued ~ Go to sleep. Lack of sleep makes us susceptible to any and everything.
d) Can often be eliminated after a time-out ~ What’s your time out? Lately for me, it’s been running, deep breathing, talking to a friend or staying a few minutes longer in the bathroom reading a magazine (or just pretending that I’m actually using the toilet!). Don’t judge, it works:).
So, for this month, if you need to, go ahead and have a temper tantrum within the parameters. Permission Granted.